In Pakistan culture, most polygamous women get relief in religious practices and other activities as one of the senior wives (Mrs. Amir) said "whenever I am depressed, I am used to saying my prayer and get relief because divorce is not an option for me." Divorce can be an expensive proposition. I live in a rented flat and pay half the rent. disadvantages of being a second wife islam. Confidentiality of the data was ensured to all the participants. 2015; 12(3): 267-289. Carol Lynn Pearson's new book argues that many, if not most, Mormon women feel pain and fear at the prospect of sharing their husbands with at . In this case, I would prefer to keep my marriage to make sure my children have a bright future," she . Mrs. Mustafa was another 1st wife. Then there is the hardship of making a living by yourself as a single person. Also, if your husband has financial problems, he had no right to marry you in the first place. Cecilia says her husband married a second wife purely for his own physical desires and greed. She also explained, "I never made differences among children". Azad Chaiwala says he first "came out" as polygamous when he was just 12 . He loved her, and I was fond of her, Lillian says. 2006;52(1); 5-17. But the . polyandry, marriage of a woman to two or more men at the same time; the term derives from the Greek polys, "many," and anr, andros, "man." When the husbands in a polyandrous marriage are brothers or are said to be brothers, the institution is called adelphic, or fraternal, polyandry. Her husband got married to Miss Sobia who was the 2nd wife and it was again a love marriage. Islam allows men to marry up to four wives at one time but the condition is to maintain equality and Justice in all the possession whatever a man holds in material means [1]. Gina Barreca, Ph.D., a board of trustees distinguished professor at UConn, is the author of 10 books, including the bestselling They Used to Call Me Snow White, But I Drifted. Chechen Leader Ramzan Kadyrov Has a Second Wife - OCCRP Data collection was not collected scientific way because of qualitative study and the findings cannot be generalized beyond the women in this study [24,25]. Current findings are in line in terms of infertile women who accepted co-wives rather than divorce but those having children never bother to admit or respect co-wives as one of female told she is living in a separate home. Mrs. Imam, Mrs. Ahmad, Mrs. Kamran, and Miss Nadia also admitted co-wives relationship and compromised with this relationship (Table 3). That tends to bring with it even more debt and insecurities. This was a very uncertain and painful time for me. Of importance is the need to disseminate the findings of studies like this one to those who are in a position to make change a reality. It could have been the man's problem too. : A Liberal Case Against Polygamy. My husband has two wives . Consent i s the keyword. "We injoi it and feele to prase the Lord." If the wives have any conflict they first need to try to resolve it among themselves, says historian and cultural expert Professor Jabulani Maphalala. In turn, some women don't tell their friends about their husband's other partners because young people in the region are becoming more outspoken on how polygamy is an arrangement that is designed. But by then, no one can picture you without that first friend. Instituting change for women in a male-dominated society is a daunting task; however, it is essential. Women need to be empowered with education and positive affirmation of self-worth. She was married to Mr. Imam due to family pressure when he had already a wife with 2 children. These themes were generated from the co-wives experiences. Psychological impact of polygamous marriage on women and children: a How do I marry my second wife in Morocco? - 2023 They know what they want and work hard they dont just take the mans words as the Bible.. As she stated, "out of sight, saying of mind.". Archives of Women's Mental Health. Mrs. Amir had no baby so she said, "It's Allah's plan for me and I have accepted my fate". Polygamy has become very common in numerous cultures particularly in Islamic society. A man 'cannot do that to a woman': Why polygamy in Canadian - CBC What are the benefits and disadvantages of having two wives in - Quora Over breakfast her husband told her something that would make any woman choke on her toast: he wanted to take a second wife. Current Psychology. What Is Marriage Coaching? While Pakistan being an Islamic state where religion allows polygamy, the more typical reasons have been observed in the current study by multiple co-wives such as infertility, a woman being a mother only by female children, love marriage, or family pressure with the reference of religious doctrine. Being Real: The Pros And Cons Of Second Marriages - Scary Mommy Could Your Relationship Benefit from Marital Counseling? I wouldn't go through the same experience again," he says. She does not have an apartment . She told, It was very shocking and tragic for me to have another female in my husband's life". If that doesnt work then they go to the husband and present their cases, and the husbands role is to restore peace. Children can complicate matters further as each mother might feel the maternal pull to protect her own offspring more than the children of the other wives. Inmany countries all over the world, polygamy is not permitted by law and marrying multiple partners is simply not allowed. The first theme was generated from the verbatim of the first question which was asked to polygamous women. Mrs. Kamal was also a childless first wife from the past 6-8 years and she accepted a co-wife rather than divorce. Normally the husband stays in the main house and then the wives have their own homes outside, Lillian explains. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. Could be many factors, but since a person in the marriage has already gone through a divorce, the option seems available and not as scary. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. The co-wives shared their several experiences and reasons why they allowed their husbands for 2nd or 3rd marriage. She said, "I used to take care of my child and co-wife's as well". 2. Literature indicates that the structure of the polygamous women's families badly affected the psychological and social functioning of polygamous women and children [9-11]. The positive side of the study is to explore the advantages and strategies used by polygamous women were very significant. Makes sense if there is no balance between males and females in a region. 2006; 35(1), 46-61. 11 in-depth interviews were conducted with the help of the above-given interview guide with an age range of 18-50 years of polygamous women after obtaining initial data. I couldn't sleep properly, I was crying.'. Yet even though we have gallopped past our twentieth year of marriage, I am still considered The Second One by certain of our acquaintances. Couples Therapy: Whats the Difference? The newlyweds moved to Soweto where they started a family after Nomqondiso died. A false rumour that men in Eritrea would be legally obliged to marry at least two women went viral this week. Eleven women participated in the study. She said, I don't think I was the one that could not have children. The disadvantage of being a second wife Sense of insecurity The second wife will face insecurity toward her husband which will take her in a severe sense of doubts and auspiciousness. Shes a nurse, not one of those rude ones, and she was kind and very helpful. Polygamy is a practice in which a person is married to more than one person at the same time, most commonly a man to several wives. mortality is outrageously high and t Your spouse has lost their first wife either to divorce or death, both of which bring immense, albeit very different, pain and coping mechanisms. You feel the need to establish more control over the decisions of your partner. Gabe and I interact regularly with our exes and their new spouses, former in-laws, and current in-laws. No British Muslim man has the 'right' to a second (or even third) wife Reviewed by Lybi Ma. 7 Ticking Time Bombs That Destroy Loving Relationships, The Single Best (and Hardest) Thing to Give Up, 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Hope and Happiness. Polygamy has become common practice in many communities including Pakistan. The purpose of this study is to investigate married womens experiences in polygamous marriages and their ways of coping to accept this relationship. Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. However, it is possible that a person is confronted with circumstances whereby he is unable to uphold his righteousness and purity, whilst maintaining relations with a sole lady, who happens to undergo periods of menstruation, pregnancy, delivery, suckling, and other forms of ailments, etc. Polyamory is not just about sex, both Farmer and Schippers point out, whereas open marriages, open relationships and swinging tend to emphasize the sexual parts of a relationship. The interviews were verified for accuracy and consistency by listening to the recordings. The second wife will have all of these extra people in her life that she never bargained for and it can be a lonely or isolating feeling. Miss Nadia was the second wife of Mr. Imam. He's not a wealthy man, he has another family and I accepted that.'. Mrs. Mustafa said, she approved and permitted her husband to 2nd marriage. Somehow, you probably have always pictured someone who has never been married. Dont be too quick to bash him, Lillian advises other women in her position. But that doesnt mean that they arent a little wounded. She also said, "'my children and 1 should get a fair and deserving share of the marriage and properties". The questions were translated into English according to the needs of international journal. The female sharia law judge who decides if men can take a second wife Mormon women fear eternal polygamy, study shows - Religion News Service What are the advantages of being a 'second' wife in Islam? As - Quora Polyandry | marriage | Britannica Naturally, I instantly felt like I wasnt woman enough for him, Lillian says. Also watch: A guide for second wives to create a happy blended family. disadvantages of being a second wife islam Why does Islam allow polygamy? - Islam Ahmadiyya The reverse is probably true, too: When women are taken from the marriage market, men suffer. , each person taking on whatever debt there is, plus paying attorney fees, etc. You feel stuck and feel as if you do not belong where you are. Utah senate unanimously moves to decriminalize polygamy READ MORE:Customary law know your rights. There was a higher prevalence of somatization, depression, anxiety, hostility, paranoid ideation, psychoticism, general symptom severity, positive symptoms total, and psychiatric disorder, as well as lower ratings of life and marital satisfaction, family functioning, and self-esteem among polygamous wives [ 12 ]. To sum up: I am married to a man I love and am lucky. The supervisor of the study verified the emerging themes and contents. International Journal of Mental Health. Why American Muslims don't care to legalize polygamy. - Slate Magazine "Risk"? If the person in the second marriage who was married before didnt have children, then chances are they never have to even talk to their ex again. "This evening I am with my wife a lone by my fire side for the first time for years," Young wrote in his diary in January 1842. Even though there can be many advantages of being a second wife, you might feel inadequate when filling the spaces left behind by the ex-wife and kids. ASEAN Journal of Psychiatry (MyCite Report). What It's Like to Be the Second Wife Constitutionally, polygamy raises important issues under the free exercise clause of the First Amendment. She was the first wife of her husband and it was a happy arranged marriage. Jealousy: Jealousy is a common response to protect ones relationship [14]. Table 1: Frequency of co-wives for infertility, only female children, love marriage and family pressure as reasons of polygamous marriages (n=11). She said, "We both share the housework and I always take care of her children". Polygamous women though claimed that polygamy has disadvantages but to them, divorce is not an option. 3.What were the coping strategies which you used to accept the co-wives relationship? She said being Muslim I should follow and admit the true teachings of Islam." 5. In some countries like India, Iran, Iraq, Bangladesh, Algeria, Lebanon, Morocco, Jordan, and Kuwait allow a woman to include a clause prohibiting polygyny in marriage contacts. She stated, "'in my religion, co-wives expect to get along. like grandparents, aunts, and uncles, etc., may not ever see you as an actual parent of the other persons biological child. I would also like to add that polygamy is not a staple in Islamic culture, nor is it a tradition. Holloway ID, Ansari D. Mapping numerical magnitudes onto symbols: The numerical distance effect and individual differences in childrens mathematics achievement. Mrs. Tanveer was 39 years old lady. Since this is nobody's tremulous, maiden love affair, get ready to handle some emotional baggage as a second wife. Most Muslims do not practice polygamy. Mrs. Ahmad being 2nd wife told that after second marriage "I and my co-wife did not get along; our children also did not get along, and there was constant bickering between us. She stated I prefer not to attend the same social function or activity with my rival (co-wife).

Meadowbrook Middle School Basketball, Candy Making Class Chicago, Issuing Authority For Driver's License I9, Greystar Criminal Background Check, Articles D